This is the last day of my vacation. I am kinda bummed. I have loved getting to be away from all the stress that will be waiting for me when I get back and just sit and think and enjoy silence. I have loved spending time with Matthew and our many little adventures, however I am beginning to miss home.
After talking with Sharon yesterday and getting to see Max for a few mins via facetime, I begun to miss home so much more.
It seems like in the next few weeks our lives are going to be spun out of control. I am deal with these types of events, when Im home, I feel helpless right now being so far away.
It really hit me this morning that my dad is gone. I know that may sound silly, however it has really been in the front of my mind the last few days. I can't stop crying. I guess there is one benefit of being in a starbucks Im not familiar with in that I can cry in the corner and not have to explain it to anyone.
There are so many things that are flooding to my brain right now. Funny thing about being a psychology student, you know what brings all these memories to the forefront. Emotions are such a part of weight loss that you don't think about until you know that, in fact, the stress is not healthy, on the whole, or for any part of weight loss.
lately I have been asking myself a lot of why questions. Not just because I want an answer, because I want to understand the purpose for all of these things and the reasons they are happening. i feel as though I am in a standstill. Almost like running on a tredmill and not going anywhere, no matter how much effort I push forward, I am in the same place.
My head is scattered. I need some air.
going to take a walk and figure it out, maybe cry some more.
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