Friday, July 13, 2012

the future??!??

         Do any of you who are on this weight loss journey with me, or those who have reached your final goal, ever think of what the future will be like? I started thinking about it today. What is my life going to look like when I am not dragging around another persons worth of weight with me wherever I go. I already feel amazing. My heart and lungs are in better shape and each day I inch my way away from being obese. I have very specific goals, most of which revolve around sizes and fitness more then an actual weight number. It isn't about a number for me. right now, watching the scale decrease shows me I'm doing what I need to do. Of course, when the scale doesn't move very much I get a bit discourage, however I know that there are so many things going on in my body, fat melting, muscles growing that I don't focus too much on it.
          I know that most people when they are losing weight don't want to take pictures of themselves out of embarrassment, I get that. I didn't either, I am however glad I did. It has been such a blessing to see how my body is changing and, even though I am not where I want to finish, I am that much closer to the end.
          I have been a bit frustrated that I  have been losing, yet not changing clothing sizes as much as I would like too. It takes time and this whole process has really begun to teach me how to be patient. I have been working so hard that i feel like a nice trade off would be smaller clothes.
         There is a huge sense of pride that comes with losing this much weight. I have always had a pretty good sense of self-esteem, however, my confidence is better then ever. It's even pushing me to do things I would have never thought to do. Dancing is my new thing. I love it! I used to do ballet in high school and when I was younger. I never stuck to it, or much of anything when I was kid, I am sad i didn't keep with it.
        This is what this year is about, getting back to my life and living for me. Taking care of my needs as I have pushed them to the back burner in the past.



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